The First Mow

Mowing. As in the lawn. Man's work? Perhaps some might think to be, but in our family mowing the lawn has always been an equal opportunity employer...an equal opportunity employer in which child labor laws were certainly never enforced. At the age of ten, long before I even considered or dreamed of driving a car, I sat atop the relatively newly purchased red snapper zero turn lawn mower. My parents yard has a large open area that we have deemed the "ball field" as this large open area has held many a softball games, opportunities to play catch, football, and the occasional driving range. For my first attempt, the mower was turned on for me in the middle of this field and off I went. It had no steering wheel, but two levers that one pulled and pushed together or independently of one another. At first shot, my coordination was greatly lacking and the path I left behind me was wavey, haphazard, and at one point I recall my brother diving for his life as I veered directly towards him. I was too light to mow the ditches as a certain weight was required to keep the mower going and any slight movement from the seat resulted in the engine turning off as a safety precaution should the mowee fall off. As the years passed and my skills grew more proficient with each passing summer I was able to smoothly and gracefully mow slickly around trees, poles, gardens, and the like leaving various patterns and designs behind me with ease and confidence. And off to college and new places I went. Occasionally I would return home in the summer and get a quick mow in, it had become a favorite chore of mine as through the years I realized the lack of labor and optimal tanning potential of this particular chore. The old, red, zero-turn, two levered mower had long seen its glory days and had been replaced by a new model that left one free to wave at passerby's as only one hand was necessary to drive this joy-stick controlled, piece of mowing mastery. I was a bit apprehensive as I learned this joy-stick method of mowing and enjoyed not having the two levers shadow my legs as I worked on my tan and though it backed a little slower and less efficiently, it would do. We became friends.
As my work day became long today and I longed to be outside, I decided that I would indeed get home in time for the first mow of 2010. I called home in anticipation, to be certain that I had, indeed, seen the mower out the other day and it was ready to go! My anticipation turned quickly into mowing lethargy as my mom told me it wasn't running properly and I would need to use the "yellow" lawn mower. You see, though the zero-turn mower is an amazing machine in so many ways, its easily maneuvered wheels do so a little too easily as one attempts to mow long straight paths while angled mid-way up the ditch along the ditches. Simply said, it won't stay on the angle and slips down leaving an unsightly path of disheveled clipped grass. The solution to this problem was to purchase an old, small yellow lawn tractor. Be it old as dirt, its new to me and I've never had to learn its ways. As I drove the half-hour home from my last work destination of the evening I convinced myself that I was too tired to mow tonight. I didn't want to learn to drive the yellow mower...and as I turned into my driveway I noticed the ditch leading up to my house was neatly trimmed and sitting at its end, in front of my house, the yellow mower. It was as if it was saying "don't hate me because I have a steering wheel and I'm yellow". I quickly changed into my jeans designated for yard work and headed to my parents and rang the door bell.
My Dad answered.
Me: How do you turn it on?
Dad: With the key.
Me: But there's a clutch, what do I do with a clutch? (and a steering wheel...what?!)
Dad: I'll get my shoes.

(Sometimes I think its possible my Dad may actually feel physical and mental pain at my lack of knowledge in oh so many areas)

He finished his tutorial in roughly 10 seconds as he quickly pointed out the turtle vs bunny lever, blade height options, blade on/off, fwd/reverse (not needed with the snapper!). I was off and running, quickly. Straight ahead. I tugged hard on the steering wheel to make my first pass and found out fast that 1. it took more strength than I anticipated and 2. it did not quite whip a corner as tight as I would want it to and quickly ended up with my face in a pine tree. once, twice, three times a charm. At which point I began the mental dissertation of this blog. I didn't let the tree stop me, I've been slapped with many a pine tree in my mowing career. Not a problem. I continued with confidence...straightaways: good, tight turns: not possible, slowing up: not easy, backing up: with a vengeance! At one point I just tugged the wheel slightly and mowed in a spiral circle to cover a large area with as minimal turns as possible and to prevent from the need to actually take a corner. Large areas where backing up was necessary were left undone as well as getting close to...anything. Olive feared for her life several times as she watched me speed off with little chance of slowing. She sat in the bushes and watched with quivering legs until I was "finished" and the mower was safely put away. No one was harmed in the mowing of my yard. I will continue to love mowing.